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The latest entries in this blog Because I am uninsured myself, and because I couldn't find any other blogs detailing the personal experience of being uninsured, I decided to create my own blog. This is it! First: who am I and how is my health? I am 63 years old, exactly one and a half years too young for Medicare. My health is excellent; I don't smoke or drink (any more!) and I don't have unprotected sex. Or any other kind currently! I have a great immune system, I take vitamin supplements and yearly flu shots, and I exercise religiously. I am overweight but not obese, and I eat a pretty healthy diet. I have had the usual bladder and yeast infections, but not for decades, and I always had the requisite exams, until 2005 when I became uninsured. So how did I get uninsured? After over twenty-five years of working as a help desk technician and corporate trainer, I lost a great, high paying job with benefits in 2000. This job went away in the high-tech crash in Silicon Valley. Literally. It went to Bangalore, along with tens of thousands of similar jobs. When it became obvious that these jobs weren't coming back any time soon, I re-upped my teaching credential and sent resumes to school districts all over Califonria. I got a job in Maryville, teaching ROP data processing in high school. But after a year and a half, Leave No Child Behind and the need for budget cutting took that job as well... I found a job in Sacramento as a web support/tech training professional, but after two years I was once more without work. I found that no one is eager to hire 6o-somethings, except for part-time work. I got lots of interviews, but you could see the young people who were interviewing lose interest when they realized I was not a kid. So now I do occasional temp work and teaching college classes, both of which don't provide benefits, and I work for Gray Panthers part time. No benefits, no health care. There are 7 million of us in Califonria, and 47 million in the US. I spend much of my time advocating for a Single Payer plan like Sheila Kuehl's SB840 in California, or HR 676 at the federal level. I would have joined this fight anyway, but it takes on a greater urgency when you know personally how it feels to have no access to medical care. Most of the time I just go about my business, but there are times when I really am disturbed, upset, or depressed. Anti-Depressants anyone? Years ago, I was prescribed Zoloft when I lost a job and had the love of my life pass away at about the same time. I recovered, but I also realized that my panic attacks, from which I had suffered for years, were gone. So I continued on the medication and while I was at my last job, on Kaiser, I continued to take it. This is still my only medical issue. Retail Medical Clinics (Winter '06) I read in the Sacramento Bee that some Rite-Aid pharmacies had retail health clinics on site. So I went to one. They notified me, after I paid $65 for the visit, that they were not allowed to prescribe the one medication I needed. They did take my temperature and blood pressure, though, and I suppose it is just possible that they could have detected a flu as well. Though at that time I didn't have one. Double-vision/Urgent Care (Summer '06) One day I was experiencing what seemed to me to be mild double-vision. I went to a nearly urgent medical clinic. They weighed me, gave me a cursory eye check, and then told me (urgently, or so it seemed to me) that my double vision could only be a symptom of something they couldn't treat or even diagnose, and they gave me back my check and told me to go away. I read that as "you have something really bad so you need to go away because you have no insurance." My awful cough: winter 2007 In the winter of 2007 I had a bout of cold or flu, not too sure which, in spite of having a flu shot. (You can get flu shots for $10 at local senior centers, and I did, but still...) It wasn't bad, but it left me with a really bad cough or bronchitis, which got worse and worse. Finally, I was very panicky and needed to do something. I had been on Kaiser before I lost my job, so I called them hoping they might at least talk with me. Nope! At this point I trusted neither retail clinics nor urgent care clinics, so I decided to call the doctor I had seen while I lived in Yuba City, and I called to make an appointment. I was told that the visit would cost $125, cash up front, but that she would see me. When I got there, an hour drive, the receptionist told me that the doctor did not accept uninsured patients. I was upset, and asked why they couldn't have told me before I drove all the way from Sacramento to Yuba City. At that point the doctor saw and recognized me, and told me to come in. She prescribed an antibiotic for the cough and also gave me a one year prescription for sertraline, the generic of Zoloft. (This had been available for years from other countries, but only recently in this country.) She sent me to a pharmacy that she assured me would be the best rate. I went and filled the antibiotic, but when I was quoted $156 for 30 tablets, I passed. I got better, and when I got home, I spent hours researching on the web. I ended up with a Canadian pharmacy, at $122 for 90 tablets. For the past year, that has been all the meds I needed. But of course, the year is now over.... Online Advice (May '08) Years ago, I joined an online support group for Multiple Myeloma patients. I did this because I had a dear friend who had been recently diagnosed, and I wanted to educate myself, my friend and her husband and find a source of support. This group turned out to be magnificent, and I continue to read items from the group, though my friend only rarely used the site and passed away this year. My comments to the group re healthcare in the US (May 7 2008):
When the online conversation turned to medication costs (and Multiple Myeloma med costs are totally incredible.. in this country!) I said I was having trouble with sertaline. As is often the case, someone there had a solution... it's available much cheaper at Costco. I went to the Costco site and found out to my amazement they not only have a special medication plan for uninsured people, but my med was one of the ones covered. I went in immediately and signed up, then raced home to call the doctor to get a refill on the prescription. Back to my Yuba City doctor: End of an Illusion (May '08) I spoke with the receptionist, and asked to have the Dr. call me. She grilled me as to why, and I told her the truth. She said that I would need to come in for an office visit. I replied that that seemed unnecessary since I was uninsured and could barely afford the meds, let alone the cash for the office visit and the cost of gas to get there and back, no longer an incidental expense. I said, "Doctor X knows about my situation, and I would like to speak with her." I left my number and later, got a return call from another person, not the doctor. I made the same requests and got the same response. I must say I was just enraged, as I still am. They get you coming and going! Now that I can afford the meds, the doctor is out of my range! There is no compromise, they are not going to listen to me or even talk to me! I first was angry with the two women I talked to, but I realized soon that they are only following orders from the Doctor. They are paid to stonewall, and all they all care about is the money. "First do no harm?" I don't think so! After I had a long cry, I realized that I am just totally frustrated. And that there are millions of us going through this or worse. How much worse if I had a serious medical emergency? or even worse, if it were my child? Most of the time I take things in stride. Today I can't. May 13, 2008 I sent out the link to this blog and have received numerous responses, all helpful and all positive! I am grateful today for good health, and most of all, for terrific friends. But why is all this hitting me so hard? First, of course, is the gut-wrenching fear of the unknown. I am frightened that something will happen to my health. And, of course, sooner or later it will. Nobody lives forever. I wonder if there is any way to quantify the effects of this fear on our health? I know that I am shocked by the situation I am in. It doesn't much help that there are 7 million more like me in California, or 47 million in the nation as a whole. And it doesn't much help to remember that a person like me would not be in this predicament in any other developed country. Although I have always known our healthcare system was a mess, I never really believed this would happen to ME! I remember the comfort I had as a child in always knowing that Dr. Goldberg was right down the street and would come to see us whenever we needed him. I never questioned him and I never questioned that we would all be taken care of. I always knew that this was the best country in the world, that doctors cared about their patients, and that I would be OK. That little kid that still lives in me is just shocked and outraged that we have gone so wrong. We now live in a country that denies healthcare to a huge number of its citizens, and does so still believing we are a "Christian" nation. Thank God for Healthcare for all, for Gray Panthers, CARA, OWL, and all the other groups I am part of and which work their hearts out for a solution! The key to mental health is working for change! Margie May 19, 2008 So today it has been a little over two weeks since I ran out of my sertraline. I was without it a couple of years ago, so I more or less know what to expect. I feel a little dizzy from time to time, and I am way more anxious. I also notice that I am having real trouble sleeping. I used to have panic attacks when driving , but Zoloft took care of that. I had to drive to Chico this weekend, almost 100 miles, and I was concerned. It turned out just fine. What I notice most is that I have been crying a lot more. Small trails that I used to take it stride are now causing me to feel rage, followed by tears. This is really annoying. In addition, I can feel that my concentration is not as good as it was. I have to find a doctor nearby who will take uninsured patients. I can;'t use the dr. in Yuba City, partly because the trip itself would cost around $50 just for the gas. I feel really frustrated, punctuated by moments of rage. I have contacted some doctors I know who are proponents of single-payer health care. My hope is that I can find someone who will work with me until Medicare kicks in. Oct. 2009. So how's that going to work for me? November, 2008 I e-mailed a friend in Physicians for Social Responsibility re a reference to a doctor and through him, found a great one! He gave me my prescription, and I took it to Costco, which had a deal of three months supply for under $20. So I am fine now! And it only took me a year to get this problem resolved. Oh, and this new doctor charged me the Medicare rate, which is half of what my other doctor charged. Distrust Doctors? You bet I do! At a local townhall meeting on doctors and healthcare last month, the moderator asked us “Do you trust doctors?” About half the 100 or so participants raised their hands. Not me. The second question was, “Do you trust your own doctor?” This time nearly everyone raised their hands. Again, not me. I was surprised by the vehemence of my own response. I DON’T trust doctors, and haven’t for a very long time. And it isn’t just a mild distrust, it borders on fury. This definitely took me aback, and I pondered on it all the way home. As a child, we had a doctor we all loved. He made house calls and we always knew he was there for us. And I thought he knew everything. My father had had a brain tumor removed and was subject to seizures, and we had to call Dr. Goldberg fairly often. He always came right away, or so I remember, and of course I was never privy to any discussions of the bill, so what’s not to like? After I left home for college, I used the student health doctors, and that was fine; nothing much was wrong with me. My senior year, however, I finally got up the nerve to ask for birth control pills, which had recently been developed, and was horrified when the doctor refused. He said he was a Catholic and wouldn’t even prescribe them for his own wife. I was appalled that his personal issues meant I could not get appropriate medical care, and I resented that. I have yet to have a job where you don’t have to do the work you were hired to do. My ex-husband was a doctor, and we were married or dating during part of his medical school years, his internship, and part of his residency. Of course the reasons for the divorce are complex and I am sure they affect my attitudes towards the medical profession, but there were several factors which really stunned me. • First, the conversations I witnessed were all about money: Investing,
avoiding taxes, maximizing profits were all they cared about. I actually
don’t remember conversations around medical care or healing, and
they never referred to patients with respect. The patient was that “neurotic
gallbladder on the third floor. I absolutely hold the medical profession at least partly responsible for the mess our system (or lack of system) is in today. More recently, I have been uninsured due to losing my job about three years ago. Since that time, I have found that many doctors will not accept uninsured patients. And if they do, I pay as much as $125 from a doctor who received insurance payments of $87 while I was insured. In addition, I never went to her office when there weren’t at least two drug details sales people in presence, which clearly explains the fact that I was given VIOXX shortly before the news broke on that drug’s deadly side affects. She also refused to renew a medication I had taken for years, and which would have entailed a round trip of about 50 miles and another $100 plus charge. After analyzing all these issues, I realize I need to rethink my anti-doctor
attitude. I have since met many doctors who are part of the movement towards
singe-payer healthcare, including one of my favorite people, Dr. Bill
Durston, who ran for Congress. I contacted Physicians for Social Responsibility
for a physician referral , and found a doctor I loved and who charges
me a reasonable amount. I have long voted only for candidates who understand
that healthcare is a right, not a privilege, and that it should not be
sold to the highest bidder. And from now on, I will demand the same from
any doctor I see. They take an oath to “Do no harm”, and I
plan to hold them to it. Letter to the Editor: April 29, 2009 As one of the one-sixth of Californians who are uninsured, I find myself quite anxious about all the press coverage of the Swine Flu situation. None of the articles I’ve seen has any suggestions about what we are to do and where we should go if we get sick. I came down with flu symptoms yesterday, and treated myself to bed rest, fluids, and chicken soup provided by a friend. I guess it wasn’t swine flu, as I am better today. But what is going to happen to all of us if this becomes a pandemic? How can "they" possibly deal with a real pandemic if they don't even know who is sick? And what happens to undocumented workers if they too become sick? Will they trust doctors and emergency rooms? Will I? And by the time they, or I, get there, will it be too late? August, 2009: I had a reporter from the Bee call and interview me for a possible article about being uninsured. I enjoyed it but it caused me to really think about the amount of fear I feel over not having health care. It is a steady throb that never really leaves. But in addition, whenever I hear anyone, especially a politician, say that we have the best healthcare in the world, I feel a real flash of rage. It boils down to the fact that I hear them saying that I am not worth taking care of, I'm disposable, that I don't matter in this society. The rage passes when I take action. Like protesting, writing this blog, etc. Or like voting!
Lungren Town Halls: Summer 2009 I went to two of the three Lungren Town Halls and my friend Arnie Godmintz went to the third. The first, on August 19, was in Citrus Heights. I get there about 20 minutes before the event was to begin, and was too late to get in. I stayed in the line about an hour, however, talking to people. There were people with signs and flyers all around, most objecting to the public option, and one demonstration, three black guys, held a sign showing Barack Obama with a Hitler mustache. I heard later they were with Lyndon Larouche. The demonstrations were impassioned, but not violent and I felt no danger. There were a lot of progressives there too and that was comforting. I chatted with a guy in front of me, older and mad in general. He seemed somewhat confused and I noticed that he was pretty much just spouting the talking points from Fox. I told him I was uninsured and asked him what kind of healthcare he had, and he answered “Medicare”. I pointed out that is a government program and asked how he liked it. He loves it. “I just want the program you have,” I responded. He continued railing about “government interference”, no understanding and no irony. I asked him if he gets his news from Fox, and he said “Yes, that’s where you hear the truth.” I said mildly that they don’t in fact tell the truth and that was that. I said to the four people behind me, “I am uninsured and I am scared.” They were not pro-reform, but were nice people, and asked me why I was not insured. I said that I had been laid off from a good job three years ago and that it is not easy for a woman in her 60’s to find a job, especially in this economy, and that I was now working three part-time jobs, including adjunct teacher in a local college, but these are all jobs that don’t provide benefits. I think people ask why I’m uninsured because they want to prove I am a bum, i.e. not a worthwhile person, and also to prove to themselves that this couldn’t happen to them. They are always quiet when I tell them my story, probably because it does indeed occur to them that bad things can happen to good people and in fact they are in danger too. The woman with the group spoke up. “these three guys work for me, and I can barely afford their insurance. If my taxes get raised I won’t be able to afford it any more.” I sympathized but than said “Have your costs to insure them gone up every year?” and she said yes. I asked “Well, if nothing changes, won’t these increasing costs force you to cut off their insurance anyway?” She said yes, and one of the guys said I had given him something to think about. I also went to the Town Hall on Aug. 27 in Rancho Cordova. To me, that
one was much more depressing. Inside the building, there were two large rooms so most of us were seated. Lungren was in the other room, but there was a large screen so we could see him. There were staffers with microphones in both rooms and with the group outside as well, and they took questions from all three places. The questions were mostly friendly and led to Lungren’s responses such as Protect Medicare and don’t let Democrats take it away from seniors, which I found shocking, “Keep government from getting between seniors and their doctors, No rationing based on age, and prevent government from interfering with end-of-life care discussions; Ensure that everyone one can keep what coverage they have, and protect veterans. There were several questions I thought were genuine: First a woman told Mr. Lungren that she and her husband had insurance, but their 6 year old child recently was diagnosed with an eye condition which required surgery, and they had just found out that their share of the expense would be over $8000 (I would guess that they have an HSA, which appears to be Mr. Lungren’s idea of reform. He mentioned Health Savings Accounts several times but never described them.) She asked plaintively, “What is there we can do? We have to take care of our baby.” I expected Lungren to offer to meet with her, but he didn’t. He suggested she look into local “charities”, and suggested that they try the Shriner’s Hospital. I was genuinely shocked. I was allowed to ask a question came after someone has railed against the “loss of liberties” healthcare reform would cause. I said that “there is always a tension in every democracy between the individual liberties of citizens and the best interests of society as a whole. I am uninsured, and shortly after I first heard of the Swine Flu, I developed flu-like symptoms and did not see a doctor. But,” I asked, “in a country where fully 20% of the citizens under 65 are uninsured and unlikely to see a doctor except when seriously ill, how can we expect to track or contain pandemics such as Swine Flu?” Lungren started by defending the CDC (which of course I hadn’t attacked), and then said he “questioned my statistics”, and then he stopped suddenly, paused, admitted he had completely lost his train of thought and asked for another question. (I turned to the woman nest to me, a single-payer proponent, and whispered gleefully that “My question brought the man to his knees.”) On the way home I was agitated and depressed. I really was angry at Lungren: for being mean-spirited, unfeeling, totally partisan, and dishonest. I was also angry at those nice, suburban people who love him and trust him. When I got to the computer I Googled some of the expressions he had used repeatedly, and was sent to the Republican National Committee website, Seniors Health Care Bill of Rights (http://www.gop.com/news/NewsRead.aspx?GUID=bc1d50c0-5ef7-4026-8db5-efd402b01677 ). I have reprinted this document below with my comments in red. The Enemies of healthcare are cynically,
carefully and in lock step going after seniors. Their goal is to get them
to vote and act against the Obama administration… in spite of the
fact that they would be voting against their own self-interests. Note: This is clearly the
fight on our hands right now. The Lungren meeting was exactly in lock-step. Seniors’
Health Care Bill Of Rights Want to be kept informed of the happenings at both the state and federal level around healthcare and insurance issues? Send me an e-mail at margiemetz@hotmail.com and I'll send you the latest info. . Or for the best books available, see below (my favorites are in red, but they are all great!) Healthcare Bibliography
An E-mail Conversation with a Friend I heard from a friend I’ll call Rosemary. She is now 58, has two kids, was a single mother much of her life, and had a pretty good job (one that had health care benefits…) up until three or four years ago. Then she was laid off, was unemployed for a year or more, and then found another job, but without healthcare. Here is our e-mail exchange:
This last comment unexpectedly shook me to the core. Then I remembered something from years ago. I was unemployed, I was broke, and I had depression and bad toothaches. I went to the Social Services department to apply for MediCal and it was one of the most depressing and humiliating experiences of my life. I could picture that awful waiting room and the condescension on the faces of everyone I talked to. There was no compassion, no reassurance, no reflection of their humanity or mine. I think I made up my mind then that I would literally rather die than ever be a charity case again. I was wrong, and though I still bleed for my friend, I am glad that she got help. She is a valuable, lovely person and she deserves good healthcare. And so do I. In the course of this year’s Congressional town halls, I heard
both Congressman Lungren and McClintock respond to seriously distressed
constituents with family members in serious medical trouble that they
could “ask for charity.” Eric Cantor suggested to a woman
with a 40 year old female relative with stomach tumors and no insurance
that “there are charitable organizations who do provide charity
care.” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Hqa30inu_A&feature=PlayList&p=EDCDC917AA75B2F7&playnext= I also believe there are many more people in the 40 or 50 plus demographics
who are disproportionally affected by this recession and our awful healthcare
non-system. We are too young for Medicare, we are often laid off first,
we experience age discrimination when we look for jobs, and many of us
are overwhelmed with full time jobs, childcare and caring for aging parents.
This cohort is probably less likely to demonstrate or otherwise make our
voices heard. In many cases, we simply don’t have the time or energy.
Medicare Part D/Healthcare
Reform Grant and Program: |
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